Creating a Routine

Hello Friends,

I apologize for my absence on here. I have had so much going on in my life. As you all know, being a mama leaves you little to no spare time for leisure. But I know that I need to get back to what's important to me. Reaching out to all you beautiful mamas out there is something I am very passionate about. I want you all to know that you are not alone in your endeavor, and that we all go through very similar experiences.

Spring Break is here and many of you in school have just completed midterms or finals (depending if you are on quarter or semester). What inspired me to write this post was all the frustration I witnessed from many of my fellow friends who are mothers and going to college. I saw many Facebook posts that were bleeding with frustration, and I was overwhelmed because I ENTIRELY understand where you are all coming from. Whether you are a single mama or not, juggling all of life's daily endeavors is no easy task. You feel you have to attend to your relationships, friendships, work, unexpected crisis, your children...... and for all you brave women--SCHOOL! With only 24hours in your day you are forced to cope with all of this in that given time, not to mention actually getting some sleep in!

What really worked for me was creating a routine, which was impenetrable. I know this may sound impossible because you can not always predict your children's schedule, but you have more power in your hands that you would ever believe. The first few weeks may be extremely difficult, but believe me, THIS FORMULA WORKS!!! You can choose the order you follow since we all have very different study habits, work schedules, class schedules, and other daily tasks etc etc. I will give you my schedule, and I will explain in depth after.

7am:
Wake up

• Get myself and my daughter ready for the day
• Get some Breakfast in our systems (and some caffein for mama)

8am

• Take my daughter to childcare (at the University-recommended if possible with non-school-aged children) 

8:30am-2pm

• Class (Morning classes give you an advantage, since it gives you more hours at the end of the day and you can usually make it work with no gaps in between) 
• Also, trying to take MWF classes or only T-TH classes is a great idea since it gives you a couple of days off during the week for studying, jobs, etc. 

3-5pm

• Since my child was in childcare on the campus I ALWAYS STAYED ON CAMPUS until I had to pick her up at about 5pm. 
• ALL universities and colleges have a study area or Library where you can do your work, read, have access to computers and so forth. GET SOME HOMEWORK IN. 10-15min increments can add up throughout the course of the day. 

5:30pm 

• breath, relax, gather your thoughts.... sometimes this may be the hardest thing to do since you are always on the go and I am preaching that every second counts, but the mind can only work so long and so hard before it can no longer function properly and you find your self getting overwhelmed. 
• This time you set aside could be a good time to get some exercise in, take your kids out for a while, even watch your favorite TV show! It is not a sin to take some time for yourself. 

6:30-7pm

• Make dinner 
• Give my daughter a project or something to occupy herself in he meantime. Kids have a ton of energy and we all know that even little tasks like making dinner can be the biggest obstacle of the day. 

8pm

• Bath time!!! 
• despite the age of your child, this can also be some study time! 
• I would let my daughter play in the bath while I sat on the cold tile floor and got some reading in. 
• If you have a tiny baby, maybe something like having an audio recorder for classes would be a great idea, since you can listen to it while you bathe your child. AGAIN, EVERY SECOND COUNTS! Rack up those extra minutes each day so that you are not up all night trying to get that reading in at 3am. 

8:30pm

• Get your kids to bed!! I know this may seem like an early bed time for some of you, but children need their rest and so do you! Kids will of course test their limits, but I promise, getting them on a routine is your secret weapon. 

8:30pm-9

• Mommy's bath time. Get some candles and nice music going! Find a way to wind down from your day. Releasing all that extra stress allows you to be productive with your energy and time. 

9pm

• Our all favorite HOMEWORK TIME!!!! YUCK! =/
• I would try my best to keep this period to no longer than 3hours, which would mean I am in bed by 12am. I know that with some assignments, you may be taken longer into the night at times, but don't let this become a habit! Don't overwhelm yourself by writing a 20page paper in one night. Device a way to split up your course work throughout the week. 
• EX: 
• MWF- homework for classes A & B
• T-Th- homework for classes C & D

12am

• GO TO BED MAMA! You have had a productive day! The human body needs approximately 8hours of sleep, so 12am-8am should get you enough rest so that tomorrow can be just as productive as today. 

Now, what about the rest of your life??!!!......


Remember I mentioned to try to only take MWF OR T-Th, IF POSSIBLE this can be a great way to structure your free time. If you create a schedule for yourself AND WRITE IT DOWN! You will find that weekends are ALL YOURS! =)

One of my biggest priorities was to take weekends off from EVERYTHING! I would maybe get some cleaning or laundry done, but overall it was my time to relax. Go shopping, take your kids to the ZOO, pamper yourself, or just spend the day at the park. Do not misinterpret what I am saying. I understand school is your number one priority, but you cannot make it your life.

When I tried to adjust to college life as a mama, I was drowning trying to figure out how I would manage such an impossible task. I was having relationship issues, had no family or friends in the area, and the burden of my survival was of course all on me. Despite whatever support system we THINK we are entitled to, sometimes it is hard to realize that we do not have a support system at all. But this epiphany really came to me after all the sleepless nights and tears.... which I am sure many of you have experienced.

Although you may feel alone in your endeavor, there are many people out there experiencing the same emotions and obstacles as you mama. You just have to ask yourself how important this all is to you..... and I am sure you will find that getting that degree in hand will be the most amazing and fulfilling experience of your life--- because you did it for YOU!

Take a moment, write down your goals and HOW you will accomplish them.... A DREAM is only a  dream if it remains in you mind. Not until you WRITE it down does it become a GOAL! And I have no doubt that you will succeed in your journey towards those goals.

I hope that you can all take something from this. I have been in your position and there are also many other mamas that are also.... so don't be afraid to reach out. You are your worst enemy when failing to seek advice. I believe that some lessons in life are best learned though self experience, but others can also be learned through the experience of others....

Thank you for reading,
Cub

Career Mode: "Selfishness v. Selflessness"

So as a mother, sometimes we undergo a huge amount of stress when making life decisions. We are continuously presented with the dichotomy of "selfishness vs. selflessness" and forced to choose between the two. Unfortunately, western socialization has lead us to believe that you only have two options when you are a woman with children. However, I would like to persuade you otherwise. I have met MANY mothers (including my own) who have compromised their dreams or life goals in order to raise their children. For women who have, I find this to be very admirable, however, it should not come at the expense of a woman's happiness. Happy mom=happy baby=happy family= happy marriage= etc. etc. etc.. When mom's happy,  everything else just seems to follow. Before having my daughter, I basically only worried about my own well being, however, when God blessed me with the sweetest little girl ever to walk this earth-- that all changed. EVERY decision I made effected her. I found myself feeling guilty for hanging out with my friends or for spending so much time away from her while I was at work. Then the time came for me to make the decision to go back to school. It seemed like such a simple decision, but it was such a difficult time for me. I had people who said I shouldn't do it. They said that I would be unable to handle the stress, that I wouldn't be able to adequately raise my daughter on my own and even encouraged me to compromise where I went to school and attend a less prestigious school. At the time, I was very hurt by the discouragement, but in hindsight I call their criticism "words of inspiration". I was criticized by some that my decision to return to UCSB was a selfish one, but I now realize that it was not selfish at all. I know one day my daughter will appreciate the decision her mother made. Society often makes mothers feel as though they need to make decisions that will entirely only benefit them, or entirely only benefit their children (the selfishness v. selflessness complex) ---- but doesn't it seem feasible to make a decision that will benefit you both?? I will admit that I made HUGE sacrifices to attend school and raise me daughter. She was in pre-school from 8-5pm everyday, and when I picked her up I only had a few hours to bathe her, feed her, do my homework, and spend some quality time with her. Every minute was always accounted for. I was working and had 3 internships! Not to mention my last quarter I took 19units!! It took major dedication and some sacrifices, but NEVER did I feel was compromising my life. Graduation day could just about have been the most happiest day of my life. Nothing could beat the feeling of diploma in one hand- and my daughter in the other. My little cheerleader was there with me through it all.

Now, I am in career mode. I am a now a junior publicist at Levine Communications in Beverly Hills and wake up everyday to keep on pushin'. I have rid myself of the "selfishness v. selflessness" complex, and wake up everyday to a happy life. The decisions I make are of course for the betterment of myself, but I am simultaneously setting an example for my daughter. My decisions benefit us BOTH! Not simply one or the other, and at the end of the day guess what? Mommy's happy because she didn't compromise her life. So I hope that all you mamas out there can relate, and understand that there is a way to make your dreams come true despite the negative connotations of "selfish"decisions. Whether you're deciding to go to college, thinking of a change of direction in your career, relocating, or any other major life decision...... remember that any decision you make towards your own pursuit of happiness, subsequently will make your children happy.

From one mama to another,

Teresa

P.S.
I would love for you readers to comment and let me know your thoughts. I would love some input, criticism, and even suggestions for topics to write about. (Even if you aren't a college mama) =)

<3

Dear Mama,

So I started this blog for all the beautiful mama's out there chasing their dreams. No I am not an expert nor do I have all the answers for you, but I conquered many endeavors while chasing my dreams and raising my now 2 year-old daughter. I hope that I can share my experience and advice with all you beautiful ladies out there and help you make the impossible.. POSSIBLE! I graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara, in a city where partying daily is the norm. So let me tell you, after having my daughter, my social life there went to shambles. All of my friends had graduated and I did not have my family there. I had never realized what a lack of support there is for student-parents in the modern education system. It was sometimes hard to see myself at the finish line when no one was there to encourage me or cheer me on. And NO I don't need someone to hold my hand to get things done, but this endeavor often seemed more than I could handle on my own.... but guess what?? I DID IT! In June 2011 I completed my Bachelors degree! And I still plan to pursue a post graduate education. It was the most rewarding feeling EVER! After graduation I had the amazing opportunity to go to Paris, France for the entire summer. This was an absolute dream for me. Waking up to the fresh smell of pastries in the air everyday was the most priceless experience I could ever ask for, but it would not have been possible without BELIEVING IN MYSELF. Often people ask me how I did it.... and to tell you the truth, I am not exactly sure how, but I know that without CONFIDENCE this young lady would have given up a long time ago. When presented with a problem, I always found a solution. Sure it took some sleepless nights and some tears but it was all worth it! So for all you mother's out there thinking about going to college, attending college, or even graduated as a college mom I hope that this blog can help inspire one another to accomplish your dreams. YOU DESERVE IT, and your children deserve it too. I created this blog to teach mothers how to handle being a mother while in college because we all know it is no easy task. And as I mentioned I don't have all the answers but I can share my experience and what worked for me, and perhaps other people reading this blog may reach out as well.  Hope to keep you interested and ALWAYS INSPIRED!

Proud Mama of baby Lilah